Look! I'm not wearing any underpants!

Hm.
What does one say to inaugurate a new blog?
Hello world?
Hi Mom?
Greetings, people of Earth?
You can see what I decided on.

Life, it seems to me, is largely a struggle to find the right words – a rip-snorting battle to say something appropriate. And I damn near always lose. Look me up in my high school yearbook and you’ll see my future ordained: Most Likely To Say Something Inappropriate.

But as you see, I’m still here fighting.

I guess that’s what this blog is about – taking my struggle to new heights, battling the compulsion to say inappropriate things to every Internet-savvy being on this sad planet. And losing.

I hope to say great things here. Important things. But to encounter those little jujubes of wisdom, you’ll likely have to wade through miles and miles of flapdoodle.

So as we begin this journey together, I offer this advice: Carry a sharp knife. Once in a great while you may find something worth keeping. As for the rest, you'll likely want to scrape it off your shoe.