Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I'm So Right

Good morning, readers. It is I, Yola. Today is Wednesday, a very good day to eat what you kill. I woke up today with an unquenchable thirst, added a rib eye to my protein shake, skinned the neighbor's cat, and now I'm ready to deal with whatever little squeals of protest you may send my way. Yes, life is hard. Life is, actually, a b$itch like me.

What's playing on the toaster right now? I'm So Right Tonight by the lovely Miss Jo Stafford.

So today, let's talk query (oh, that's a bad word!)…query (it hurts!)…I want to know about your most icky, humiliating query (make it stop!) experiences. Was it by letter, by e-mail, by pitch? And what would you do differently next time? Please, keep the whips and chains, where they belong, people. No threats to any agents or editors living or (possibly?) dead. No matter how tempting.



  1. Everyone must be afraid of you today, Yola. A cat is a follower of this blog. I'll bet she's scared.

    My worst pitch ever. I was at an RWA conference, wearing this brown dress and what were possibly my grandmother's shoes. That day a Harlequin editor had requested a whole manuscript, so I was feeling relaxed when I went to my last appointment, a group pitch. The editor was nice, but the ladies at the table had their claws out seriously. Whoever says it's a friendly community has never been to a group appointment at a romance conference. They were shoving and elbowing and stealing chairs. Many of them were big ladies and seeing three of them lock arms and come at you...well, it is the stuff of nightmares. The editor escaped without injury but she only requested one partial from the group and that was from a woman who looked like she was packing heat.

  2. I once pitched my publisher an idea about a post-apocalyptic romance set in Oregon, involving a young woman reduced to a quasi-human state by infectious fallout. He thought I was mad, of course, so I made her a mad woman instead, and the book enjoyed only modest success. Now I hear some young turk is doing the story right. Lesson learned: trust your instincts, especially when everyone tells you you're crazy.

  3. I got a query for Cerberus. You're lookin' pretty buff in that photo, guy. If you ever get time off from Hell, why not stop by the Yukon? Be nice to see a real man in there for a change.

  4. Dear Yola: Those serious writers among us appreciate your efforts to steer the discussion toward a higher plane, but it appears most of your low-brow Followers are only interested in sex. Speaking of which, any of you boy-toys care to do a little dirty dancing? How about you, Cyberdude?

  5. The last time I pitched anything was...oh, yeah that giant hairball in spring of '07. Nobody asked for a partial.