Green hair on my potato salad.

As of last year, according to Internetworldstats.com, there were 6,710,029,070 people with access to the Internet.

Well, hello. How come, nearly a whole day and half after my first post, only one, one!, of you has left me a comment? And only three others are even paying attention?

Blessed be to (insert name of favorite Deity) for my four loyal Followers. It’s heartening to know you’ll share my pain when I find ants in the Frosted Mini-Wheats, when my cat pisses all over the dog toys, when I arrive at work wearing mismatched shoes, when my VCR tapes Wipe Swap instead of Burn Notice, when I find a half a dead mouse in my slipper, and when the only birthday card I get is from my life insurance agent.

So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you to Vicky and Davy and Kassandra and yes, even Cyberdrew, for sticking with me through these 33 difficult hours. I promise there will be more.

As for the other 6,710,029,066 of you… Just remember. I know who you are. I know you where you live. I know your neighbors would hate to learn there’s a sexual predator on their street. Sign up now and all will be forgiven.