Hello, children. It is I, Yola. Today is Monday, the day I am most likely to require an aspirin IV. The boy who was here just a minute ago—what was his name? Jeff? Jake?—hooked me up before he went out for croissies, so I'm good. He made coffee too. Note to self: 19 is a very good year.
What's playing on the toaster? Baby Doll by Devo. Come to mama.
Anyways, I was gone for a few days at a conference, delivering my paper Transmigrations: The Heuristics of Darla in the Buffyverse. The proles gathering at my feet asked when I thought the vampire craze was going to end. Never, of course. As long as middle-aged housewives can lift a credit card, there will always be vampires.
But I thought I should throw the question out to you people. Vampires: what about 'em? Read 'em? Watch 'em? See one in the mirror once in a while?
THE SHADOW Defies the Clutch of the Talon (1946)
23 hours ago
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Dear Yola,
ReplyDeleteMy Aunt Mabel was a vampire. I started suspecting when she kept trying to feed me something she called blood pudding (ick!). Then we had her over for dinner once and she curled up her nose at the garlic bread! So one day after school while she was taking a nap (she always took naps in the afternoon!) I snuck into her cellar with Daddy's cigarette lighter, and--- well, anyway, she never came out and that proved it. Everybody knows that vampires burn.
JessieLynn, you are a naughty little girl. Aunt Mabel's friends are probably after you right now. You should stay out of crypts and tombs for the next century. And no more smoking.
ReplyDeleteWay to stay alert, JL! It's amazing how many of those evil creatures are living among us. I'm sending you an email with the names and addresses of a few I've observed. There's a really rude one at the post office, and a Tri-Met fare inspector, and a certain meter maid, and a couple of city commissioners, and even a gang of kid vampires who won't quit riding their vampire bikes on my lawn.
ReplyDelete